Wednesday, June 27, 2018

What Can People Pray For?

I don't know if you are like me at all but praying for myself often seems wrong.  Can I really pray to God asking for a pretty girl to say 'yes' when I ask her on a date?  Or healing from a rare disease?  Aren't those prayers selfish?  Does God care?  Sometimes we add, "if it be thy will, Lord, do this," and I wonder if that negates the whole purpose of prayer.  I mean, if it is God's will that we are healed from cancer, would we need to pray for it to happen?  We also sometimes pray for other people.  Doing so is unselfish, yes, but isn't it also intrusive and coercive?  Am I allowed to ask God to show someone the light, because then aren't I limiting that other person's free will?  These questions haunt me and my prayer life.  What does God care enough about that we should pray for?  Does God mind if we are selfish?  Can we pray for something that we think is good but actually would hinder other people's free will?  Can we change God's mind and will?  If we can't, is there any purpose praying?

If you are anything like me and have asked these questions and wonder what it is you should be praying for and how it is you should be praying, don't worry.  I have the solution.  It might be strange to you, however, so I'll start by pointing out that often there are three different general modes of theology from which we approach theological questions: a theology of creation; a theology of the cross; or a theology of resurrection.  Typically, those who approach theology from resurrection focus on grace and redemption and love.  For example, rather than sending someone to prison for committing a crime, we should offer therapy and support.  Those who approach theology from the cross focus on our sin and absolute need for Jesus Christ.  These folks often then emphasize belief in Christ for the sake of salvation and that nothing else matters, because we and the world are broken and in need of ultimate, divine redemption.  I am, usually, a creation theology guy.  I and others who fit into this category of doing theology typically focus on relationship and God's intended purpose for us as human beings.  My theology of creation is vastly different from the norm but it is useful here.

It seems to me that the only rational reason for God's creating humans in His likeness is for us to share in the divine life with Him.  God did not create us so that we might be saved or so that we might serve God.  Originally God created us so that we might enjoy the life that He has given us and serve with Him caring for and living in Creation.  Any other reason for God's creating us makes God a tyrant Creator.  A tyrant Creator is not the God we believe in (maybe God is a tyrant, but we don't believe He is, anyway). 

All of this matters because prayer is, as we know, communication with God.  Any time we communicate with someone, whether it's God or not, we reflect the relationship with the person in our communication.  For instance, when I talk with my son, I often speak with a softer, more excited voice than normal.  I also often am talking about numbers and letters and the random things that we see.  I don't communicate that way with other people because I am not their father and I am not trying to teach them the alphabet, how to count, or why worms wiggle into the ground as I do with my son.  How I communicate with my son is a reflection of the fact that I am, indeed, his dad.  Likewise with God, so we need to be clear what type of relationship we have with God.  Are we merely servants or sinners in need of salvation, or are we supposed to be more than that?  Of course the categories of cross and resurrection are important and, in fact, central to our faith, but I do not see how they can define the intended relationship God had planned for and with us.  The only God could have intended for our relationship to be defined by the cross and/or resurrection is if God also intentionally created us as sinful so that we would need Jesus to die on the cross and be raised.  And that, to be plain, is not the Creation story.  God made us good and we, through our given free-will, chose a posture of rebellion.  Rather, according to our Creation story, it seems that God intended us to be sharers, to an extent, in divinity and the divine life and joyously live in and with Creation while caretaking Creation.  Based on that, it seems logical that we must also believe prayer, our communication with God, should be a reflection of God's intended relationship with us and aim to restore that relationship.

Put another way, we certainly may be, and often are, in need of forgiveness and salvation.  Because of God's intended and hoped-for relationship with us, however, our prayer in those many instances should not be, "Father, forgive me," and instead should be, "Father, I hope that I can see and know in my heart that you have already forgiven me."  The cause for the difference is that, when we see our proper relationship to God and the relationship God wants and has always wanted, we also see that God has already done all that He can to restore the relationship.  The rest is up to us.  We then need to do our part in restoring the relationship.  Our role in life becomes key when we prioritize God's intended relationship for and with us and think of the work of Christ as, while central, making possible that original intended relationship.

Our prayer life changes drastically when put in these terms.  Look, if God isn't a tyrant God who created us only to test who would believe and have salvation, then it is not necessary to pray for forgiveness, that other people would come to believe, that the church do exactly what I-me-I want, or anything of that ilk.  God has already done the work of restoring the relationship He intends and now it's up to us, as individuals, to live into that relationship.

Most of our typical prayers, then, are irrelevant or inappropriate.  The selfish, 'I hope she says yes' type of prayer that I started with are definitely inappropriate.  Whether or not we receive favors from God do not, or at least should not, affect our relationship to God.  Our own heart, mind, and body are the only things that affect our relationship to God.  Likewise, the prayers of healing and protection that are overwhelmingly common if your church worship includes prayer time are now irrelevant.  God intends to have deep, divine relationship with all of His children, and has already done and is doing all He plans to do in that regard.  Protecting our uncle Jimmy while he travels to Hawaii or healing our aunt Jane from cancer won't, or shouldn't, affect their relationship with God.  Change what I said earlier, then, to read that only our hearts and minds should affect our relationship with God.  Beyond that, too, it doesn't make much sense to pray for a single person when God wants to care for all of us at the same time. 

Since I've essentially taken away our most common prayers, the prayers of intercession on our behalf or on others' behalf, you may ask, "So what in the heck can we pray for?"  Obviously we are now getting to the point of the matter.  What we can and should be praying for are the attributes God hoped we'd have when He created us in the divine image.  Theologians and scholars throughout Christian/Jewish history have pointed out the fact that we probably don't look like God in appearance.  The image-likeness between divine and human has more to do with morality and spirit.  Yet, since we are often sinning up a storm or concerned about external happenings--whether we get that job promotion, whether so and so claims to have faith, whether our aunt Joan lives or uncle Jimmy returns home safely--we ignore or forget the intended inner being and relationship of God's creative work.  Essentially, we should pray for the restoration of Adam and Eve's spirit and mind, without that fruit-eating bit, and for the mind of Christ.

In practical terms, such prayer means that rather than praying for safe travels for our uncle Jimmy, we pray that God help Jimmy make smart decisions--not text while drive and pull over if he's tired.  Such prayer means that rather than praying for aunt Joan's healing, we pray that she know the strength and peace of God no matter what miracles may or may not happen.  Such prayer means that rather than praying that so-and-so shape up, we pray that we can be a source of God's light and patience to them.  Such prayer means that rather than praying for specific actions to be taken by the church or country, we pray for God's wisdom to be made known in our individual and collective minds.  Such prayer means that rather than praying for the Bruins to win the Stanley Cup, or for a job interview to go well, that we have the courage and confidence of Christ to live as a disciple in all places and times. 

Yes, our prayer then becomes more vague and less convincing.  Many pastors and prayer-experts out there would say that we should have the confidence that God can do all things, even the specific thing of healing David of acne if we prayed about it.  Jesus did say, after all, that faith can move mountains.  I agree that we should have such faith and confidence.  But I disagree that we should aim that faith and confidence at external happenings for three reasons: 1) If what we pray for doesn't happen, because it's not in alignment with God's will, then we may lose hope and faith, and that's no good; 2) The external happenings are not the express intention of God's creating us; 3) Similar to #1, we then attempt to imprint our thoughts and desires on the world.  God gave us free-will but not free-will to dominate the will of others or of Creation.  Others are also free, for good or for ill, to make whatever choices they want.  Including specific, external requests in our prayers dampens the free-will of all people around us.  Take, for example, the prayer for safe travel.  What if someone chooses to drive at 120 mph going the wrong way at the very time uncle Jimmy is on the road?  Praying for safe travel then limits the free-will of the maniac and, also, of uncle Jimmy, who might choose to do something stupid and text while driving and not see the maniac coming.  Praying for specific, external happenings is a reflection of our sinful nature, trying to shape the world into our likeness, rather than a reflection of God's hoped-for relationship with us.

At the end of the day, what God wants and what is best for us is to share with God in deep, gratifying relationship with Him through the good, bad, and ugly.  Like with a good friend, the relationship shouldn't change because of what happens in life.  Indeed, we know we have a real friendship when the friend sticks by our side no matter what and can still be honest with us.  So, too, with God.  We know we have a real, deep relationship with our God when we can abide in His presence even when His constructive criticisms are convicting and challenging, even when aunt Joan dies, even when we are fired for no good reason from employment and our first job interviews go horribly, even when we honestly tell God we aren't sure what He's doing and if we can possibly agree. 

Perhaps we can and do still pray for all the stuff I'm saying we shouldn't, but I do think we shouldn't pray for any of it until, at least, our perspective on our relationship with God changes and our prayer life changes to, indeed, reflect that relationship.  Perhaps what we should do is simply pray, "God, I'm here."  Pray that one over and over again, 24/7, until we realize that it is our being in God's presence and sharing in life with our God--how amazing it is that we have life!--is what most matters.

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